I don't deserve your love (but you give it to me anyway)
by minachandler
Summary: In Starling General Hospital, Oliver asks Laurel to promise him something. 4x18 fix-it fic.


**LAUREL:** Whatever happens - I still need you in my life. Always will.

 **OLIVER:** We've gone through too much together for it to be any other way. Which is why - I need you to promise me something.

(LAUREL sits up as OLIVER settles more comfortably on the bed, looking attentively at him. He picks up the photograph and turns it between his fingers.)

 **LAUREL:** Anything.

 **OLIVER:** Defeating Darhk isn't going to be easy now he's got his magic back.

 **LAUREL:** I know.

 **OLIVER:** I don't just mean because we're one woman down, Laurel. I mean - because to defeat him we're going to need more than what Mari could offer us.

 **LAUREL** : And that's assuming she can even leave Detroit to help us.

 **OLIVER:** Right. And the thing is - I know what needs to be done in order to beat him. I need to harness the same level of magical power if I even stand a chance at defeating him.

 **LAUREL:** That doesn't sound easy.

 **OLIVER** (heavily): It's not. But there's something else.

 **LAUREL:** What do you need me to do?

 **OLIVER:** If things get out of hand, I can still defeat Darhk. But it could be that in doing so… I succumb to the darkness. To the power that comes with that kind of dark magic. And if that happens - I need you to -

(But he struggles and takes a moment, squeezes LAUREL's hand with both his own.)

 **LAUREL:** You need me to what, Ollie?

 **OLIVER:** I told you, right, that I came across that idol before? On the island?

 **LAUREL:** Yeah.

 **OLIVER:** I saw what it did to - someone. A woman. Her name was Tiana. And in the end she asked me to -

 **LAUREL** (brow furrowed now): To _what_?

 **OLIVER** (at last): If things go sideways, I need you, Laurel, to kill me.

 **LAUREL:** What? No, come on, Ollie, you can't be serious.

 **OLIVER** : I am. Deadly.

 **LAUREL** (faintly): Why would you ask me to do such a thing?

 **OLIVER:** Because I know you're a pragmatist, Laurel. I know you can make difficult decisions and think with your head and not your heart. I don't just know it. I'm relying on it, actually.

 **LAUREL** : If you think that of me then you never really knew me at all. You can't ask me to do something like that, Oliver. You can't. You -

(She breaks off and suddenly her eyes shut and machines start beeping and it almost looks like she's having a seizure - slight jerking movements in her arms and legs, but he's not entirely sure. OLIVER springs to his feet immediately.)

 **OLIVER:** Nurse! Someone, help, please!

(A team of nurses and a doctor come in almost instantly, and OLIVER steps aside, lets them see to her. Behind them are THEA, DIGGLE and FELICITY.)

 **THEA** (tearfully): Ollie, what's happening?

 **OLIVER:** I don't know, one minute she was fine and the next -

 **DIGGLE** (firmly): She's going to be okay.

 **FELICITY:** She has to be.

 **DOCTOR:** We need the room, please.

 **OLIVER:** What's happening to her?

 **DOCTOR:** Like I said earlier, Mr Queen, I need you to let me do my job.

(She shuts the door and the sounds of beeping quieten considerably. OLIVER hugs THEA, and DIGGLE does the same with FELICITY, kissing the top of her head. The four of them stand outside the room, waiting, waiting, until QUENTIN appears behind them, panting.)

 **QUENTIN:** Please tell me my baby girl is okay.

 **OLIVER** (helplessly): We don't know, Captain.

(Just then, though, the door opens and OLIVER notices the machines have stopped beeping and her heart rate seems to be back to normal. As they slowly enter the room, one by one, OLIVER can see LAUREL stirring, and his heart hammers in relief. QUENTIN runs over to her just as her eyelids begin to flicker.)

 **OLIVER:** What happened?

 **DOCTOR:** We're still trying to work it out. We'll know more once she's talking.

 **QUENTIN:** Sweetheart, are you okay?

(But when her eyes open LAUREL looks so frightened that OLIVER can tell something is wrong. Her eyes dart around the room, fixing eventually on OLIVER, but when he makes to move closer to her she flinches.)

 **LAUREL:** Who are you?

 **OLIVER** (nonplussed): It's me, Laurel. It's Ollie.

 **LAUREL** (shaking her head frantically when he tries to come closer): No, no, who are you? Who's Ollie?

 **QUENTIN:** Sweetheart -

 **LAUREL** (hugging him): Dad…

 **QUENTIN:** What's the last thing you remember?

 **LAUREL:** I don't know. I can't remember. I don't know, I don't -

 **FELICITY:** It's okay. It'll come to you.

 **LAUREL:** Felicity?

 **FELICITY** (smiling): Yeah. It's me.

(She makes her way over to LAUREL, squeezes her friend's hand.)

 **LAUREL:** Felicity…

 **FELICITY:** I'm right here. We all are.

(When OLIVER meets her eyes, though, she still looks frightened, so he takes the doctor over to one side.)

 **OLIVER** (quietly): What happened?

 **DOCTOR:** My best guess is that she's had a syncope, Mr Queen.

 **NURSE** (explaining): Sudden drop in blood pressure that can sometimes cause symptoms similar to a seizure.

 **OLIVER:** Why doesn't she recognise me? I'm… practically family.

 **NURSE:** The confusion will pass eventually, Mr Queen. It's only temporary.

 **DIGGLE:** But she'll be okay?

 **DOCTOR:** She should be fine, so long as she isn't stressed or unduly alarmed.

(She looks pointedly at OLIVER, as if she somehow knows about the nature of the conversation he had had with LAUREL mere minutes ago.)

(Later, the hospital room clears, all except for OLIVER, who approaches LAUREL's bed again. She's sitting up now, and some of the colour has returned to her face.)

 **OLIVER** (softly): Hey.

 **LAUREL** (smiling): Hi, Ollie.

 **OLIVER:** Thank God you recognise me now.

 **LAUREL:** I can't even remember _not_ recognising you.

 **OLIVER:** You scared us all there, you know. We - _I_ \- really thought we were going to lose you.

 **LAUREL** (shaking her head): Like I said, Ollie. The life that I've led, a good end would be a privilege… but dying like this? After I was told I would be okay? It wouldn't be a good end. It wouldn't be the worst way to go, true, but I can think of better ways, for sure.

 **OLIVER** (sitting on LAUREL's bed and taking her hand into his): So can I. You deserve better, Laurel. You always have.

 **LAUREL:** I have a feeling you're not just talking about ways I could have died here.

 **OLIVER** (chuckling): I mean… the person you fell in love with all those years ago - that was never me. I didn't deserve your love… but you gave it to me anyway. Which is why I'm - sorry. For what I asked you to promise me.

 **LAUREL** (lightly): You mean when you asked me to put you down if you ever succumbed to the darkness like your friend on the island?

 **OLIVER:** Yeah. That.

 **LAUREL:** Ollie, you don't have to apologise. I get it.

 **OLIVER:** You do?

 **LAUREL:** Yeah. You don't know where this path is going to lead. I get that. Walking in the dark is hard. But it doesn't mean you have to walk it alone. And I promise you I will do everything I can to help you defeat Darhk. Including… doing what's necessary.

 **OLIVER** (taken aback): What?

 **LAUREL** (sighing): I mean I've thought about it. And if it comes down to it, Ollie, fine. I'll do it. But it's not going to. I know that.

 **OLIVER:** How can you possibly know that?

 **LAUREL:** Because you are not alone, Ollie. You have me, and the team, and we have faith in you even if you don't have faith in yourself. And if… your worst fears come to pass, I'll… do what I have to.

 **OLIVER** (doubtfully): Do you… want to?

 **LAUREL:** God, no. It'll kill me, Ollie. But I know what it's like to make a tough decision when someone I love loses their soul.

 **OLIVER:** You mean Sara?

 **LAUREL:** Yeah. Sara. I would have pulled the trigger if I had to. And it would have probably broken me to the point that, chances are, I would have fallen off the wagon… but I'd still have done it if I thought there was no other way.

 **OLIVER:** Except there was.

 **LAUREL:** Just like there is for Darhk. I don't know what that other way is yet, or how we get there. All I know, Ollie, is that I believe in you. No matter what.

 **OLIVER** (squeezing her hand): Thank you.

 **LAUREL:** Anytime. It's not like I'm going anywhere.

 **OLIVER** (grip tightening on her hand): You promise?

 **LAUREL:** Cross my heart, Ollie. I promise.

(They hug, and OLIVER holds on for dear life, pressing a kiss on her forehead.)

 **OLIVER:** You know I love you, right?

 **LAUREL** (smiling): Yeah, I know you do.


End file.
